christmas time with a great friend loss

as i lost my best friend i try and be thankful for who i have in my life ! its hard knowing mark is not sharing it with us but im sure he is looking down and thankful for me missing him and trying to have our own family fun as well think it is how he would have wanted it i went to church and hope he heard my prayers for him ! love him lots and hope he is in a better place as for what we did christmas eve is went last min shopping a bit this morning took kevin to the dollar tree gave him 40 dollars and let him get everyone 2 things he had a blast picking them out and then he got home and wrapped them all he did it all himself lol by the end he was so sick of wrapping but really took time and got everyone something they like was sooo cute ! and then went over to my moms open some gifts there and had food then off to church then got home late and kids off to bed and 12 am time to play santa cookies r set out with their note to santa.. so cute and so excited hope you have a great christmas i will be back to making vids hoping next week as sat will be a hard day for me im thankful for the amazing friends i have made on here wish we all were closer * huggs

thoughts on life right now

i saw my best friend last night not how i wanted to or how i would like to remember him but i pushed myself to go and get through this not easy and im sure i will have harder things to do in my life but this is the hardest thing i have had to do right now at the viewing all kinds of thoughts were going through my head and i just dont understand y and how this could have happened but we have no control over the past just future i asked him the day i found out he had passed away to give me a sign i needed to kno he was ok i went to the viewing and they had a vid playing of just pictures of him the begian and end there was a bible verse ..... i thought one of the family members have had told them to put it in , so today i asked i had to kno and the family said no the funral home just pick a random verse to add into the vid... oddly as i may sound saying this but it was the same verse john 3 16 that i just got my tattoo of for my nan . i think it happened for a reason among few others that i will not mention mark was worried about my nan and now when i think about it is when her time does come he will be waiting for her that brought me a little back to peace i guess as it is still hard to see the hot pink tree he has got for me and my hello kitty stocking he gave to me and a wreath we made together and his presents under my tree we will never get to open, but i guess that is life and sadly death is one of them as well i just hope to see him someday and will miss him soooooo much !!! i kno i will never have a better friend than he was just his personality was just amazing and we got along so good but i will think about him everyday and when i heard my 3 yr old who loved mark ( he didnt go to the viewing but i had told him mark is no longer here ) he looked at me and said mark died i miss him with a sad face and walked away i almost lost it but i want to try and teach my kids even if u loose someone they go to a better spot and someone told me only the good die young im glad i have someone over me to watch and guide me and hope you all the best thanks for being a great friend and im glad we met * huggs and have great holidays

sometimes life takes turns and u can get lost easy

well would never think i would have to be writing this about my best friend.. if u follow me or talk to me you kno i was worried about my nan nooo way my best friend ... he was always there for me and i talked to him 2 times a day and my little shopping buddy its been 2 days and no call hard reality will hit when i have to go to the funeral home to say my goodbys im not sure y god took him so sudden but as hard as it is for me to concept i realize i was greatful to have mark in my life ! and as i say everything happens for a reason sometimes u just dont kno the reason but was his time to go ... just wish i could have hung out with him one last time ! december 21 will never be the same ! he was 47 and worked in the coal mine he had a heart attact while at work it takes them a hour and 45 mins to get out of the mine they pronounced him dead at 11am. and odd as it comes i new he was at work that day but yet called him at 1030 of course no answer, but i left a message saying ill pick u up after work..as that day will never come .... he was a great person to everyone he knew and ne time i was down i would call him ! he was so worried about my nan the last scare i had with her but tables turn fast and you have to handle what god gives to you i guess. im not good with death as it comes with and a sudden one to someone so important to me its hard ! i feel bad for his mom as she has had to burry 3 of her kids ! but he will be in my heart forever and i kno i will have someone looking down on me and couldnt think of a better angel to have on my side ! charish what you have today because someday you will look back and all it will be is a faint memory ! keep those you love in your heart and life life for today ! never kno when tomorrows may not come ! keep your head up as i will and life goes on but memories will always be with you! sometimes life can take sharp turns dont get lost just regroup and slowly start on your way again !in my prayers and thoughts always mark * huggs
hope you guys take care have great holidays !!!!

tattoo on your ribcage

i have just got a tat on my left ribcage and i was fine pic at the bottom ... i have lots of tattoos and pain tolerance has to be high .. my tattoo aritist was amazed as i joked and talked and was fine threw the 2 hours it took to do this tattoo but he had told be before i started this would be my most painful tattoo and he has had grown men cry and have to come back in small sessions to get theirs done i would not recomend if you are getting your first tattoo to put it in this location as the ribs are boney and very sensitive to pain ! but i am soo glad i did i love it and have plans for it when time goes on as it is for my nan ! she loved it and cried when she saw it she was real touched and makes this my fav and most meaning tattoo i have my nan means the world to me and as much of a shame it is she will not always be with me but in spirit and threw my tattoo she will always be in my heart if you are thinking about a tattoo make sure it wont fade out or ull love it always because no matter what the pain to get one it is always easier to put on than take off take care thanks for reading
xoxo

my nan

for those of you who follow me on twitter you kno my nan went to the hospital her nose had been bleeding for hours and may not seem like a big deal but she had a bad heart and is on oxgen all the time and she is also on blood thinner so when she looses blood it is real thin well she had lost alot ! of blood but she is back home doing good thank god it is a hour drive and i dropped aspin off at a sitter and got gas and made it to the hospital in 40 mins but thank god that scare is over thanks so much for those who cared enough to message me ask or tweet me about it huggs to all u guys are amazing

xoxox

Be Thankful !

just a thought but be thankful for who u have in ur life how they got into ur life and who made u who u are today and when u find good people be thankful ! alot more mean ppl than nice so when u find someone worth calling a friend hold on to that life is short and material things can be taken away the only thing u will leave here with are memories so charish them !! best advice i can give be thankful for everyday u have and live it like its ur last !

life is sometimes so hard

i went to my nans she is my life raised me and was in my oldest sons life all the time she is such a kind hearted person and truly the nicest person i have ever met ! i am thankful for her i have a great out look on life and she made me the person i am today ! when i was prego with my youngest son they gave her 6 months to a year to live this was the heardest thing to ever have to hear she has always had a bad heart and wouldnt go through ther serg ! broke my heart but she always supported me in what ever i did so i did the same today it has been 4 years since they told her a year at max ! i am thankful and greatful but as time goes on and it gets harder for me to realize life without her ! hard to think about for ne one but a reality we all will have to face ! she is on oxgen all the time and it breaks my heart there is nothing i can do sooo hard ! to watch someone who took care of u slowly turn to u and look up to u and need help ! i am thankful my kids both have bet their great grandma ! but not sure how to deal with the pain ! ive never lost ne one in my life and now of all ppl the most important person is just a hard reality to deal with ! my nan and pap are both 83 ! and married last week 62 years amazing ! god bless them and not too many couples see 62 years of marrage as too many devorice or find someone who looks better or whatever but if reading this take a min sit back and be thankful for what and who you have in your life who is the most important person in your life and let me kno ! leave a comment and take care and god bless !
xoxoxox

thoughts for the day !

try to do something nice daily to someone u dont know smile hold a door let a car out in frount of u when driving ! donate even if its change spread the word about something important .. whatever it is small or big you may change someones day and ull never kno it take small steps to treating each other better and together one step at a time we will make leaps of hope for others who our self centered around us ! dont change who u are for someone else u will never be able to make everyone happy if its ur looks ur voice ur personality ur thoughts or belifs or just u as a person just be yourself and be open minded and gives others a chance ! because in the end as long as you are happy and the ones u love does ne thing else matter ? take care xoxox

sometimes

sometimes people love to get you down love to get you all worked up and make u mad or upset for no reason if this happens alot to you .... you need to think who you really want and need to have in your life ! ppl that get u down are a waste of your time and probly will not change so you need to be around positive people and treat others the way you like to be treated if you dont get the same respect then just turn away with a smile because u im sure are a better person than that be open minded but not too open minded where everyone knows what you are thinking ! same more bad than good but the good hold on to and my best advice is charish the times you have now you soon will look back and all will just be a faint memory !
xoxoxo