thoughts on life right now

i saw my best friend last night not how i wanted to or how i would like to remember him but i pushed myself to go and get through this not easy and im sure i will have harder things to do in my life but this is the hardest thing i have had to do right now at the viewing all kinds of thoughts were going through my head and i just dont understand y and how this could have happened but we have no control over the past just future i asked him the day i found out he had passed away to give me a sign i needed to kno he was ok i went to the viewing and they had a vid playing of just pictures of him the begian and end there was a bible verse ..... i thought one of the family members have had told them to put it in , so today i asked i had to kno and the family said no the funral home just pick a random verse to add into the vid... oddly as i may sound saying this but it was the same verse john 3 16 that i just got my tattoo of for my nan . i think it happened for a reason among few others that i will not mention mark was worried about my nan and now when i think about it is when her time does come he will be waiting for her that brought me a little back to peace i guess as it is still hard to see the hot pink tree he has got for me and my hello kitty stocking he gave to me and a wreath we made together and his presents under my tree we will never get to open, but i guess that is life and sadly death is one of them as well i just hope to see him someday and will miss him soooooo much !!! i kno i will never have a better friend than he was just his personality was just amazing and we got along so good but i will think about him everyday and when i heard my 3 yr old who loved mark ( he didnt go to the viewing but i had told him mark is no longer here ) he looked at me and said mark died i miss him with a sad face and walked away i almost lost it but i want to try and teach my kids even if u loose someone they go to a better spot and someone told me only the good die young im glad i have someone over me to watch and guide me and hope you all the best thanks for being a great friend and im glad we met * huggs and have great holidays